Must dash. Gotta pack. Off to Blackpool tonight in our car. I've been practicing my glam slam moves for the Scissor Sisters at the Empress Ballroom on Friday night. Join us for a glass or two in the Spanish Galleon lounge from 7pm onwards. Kiki and Herb are supporting so make sure you dress up. Bring your trunks if you want to join us for a spot of this on Sunday.
Do you want gravy on your chips luv?

Just hearing John Peel say this name (and then spin the fucked up dub biznis) was magical to a boy from a mining village in Northumberland.

So sad. Grumpy old man John Peel just died. What a loss. Memories of taping his show on a mono cassette recorder under the bed clothes (he was on late and I was at school). Finger on the pause button. Durutti Column, Joy Division and The Fall sessions. The festive 50. Crazy dub records from Jamaica. Calling his wife 'the pig' and his home 'peel acres'. Seeing him in the flesh at Young Marble Giants gigs and Futurama festivals. And then seeing him again 10 years later at Jesus and Mary Chain and 18th Dye gigs (and still carrying his vinyl geek record bag and a handful of fanzines).

Heaven has a decent DJ now.

Went to Sussex yesterday for a wedding. Posh village, ancient church, modern anglican service (complete with Les Dawson on the organ and applause for the happy couple as they walked up the aisle). The vicar was a Canon and he was marrying his son who is an RE teacher. God knows why two 'evil' homo's were invited to such an event but I swear I saw the verger splash some holy water from the font on us as we looked for our place in the pews ("argh! it burns"). The function was at the local Best Western hotel and was a vegetarian feast which left me unsatisfied and queasy (crepes filled with strong cheese and spinach, yuk!). There was a four hour gap between the meal and the evening 'do' (which was going to be a jazz/blues band) so, after I'd thrown up, we sneaked off home to watch Ant and Dec on telly. It pissed down all day but somehow the scenery in that corner of England is always lovely no matter what the weather.

"leave it 'arry. he's not worth it"

You eat shit cos you're stupid and shallow

I must tell you about my favourite band this week. The Futureheads and their album have come to me a wee bit late (released early this summer) but I'm so glad they got to me eventually. Blimey, angular guitars ahoy! And they're from Sunderland which makes for interesting listening as the odd 'geordie' word slips out (listen to the singer say 'joker' and 'moron' on top tune 'meantime'). They do a version of Hounds Of Love which is a right good stomper. If I had to describe their sound to give you an idea I would say they are like a cross between 'Are We Not Men' era Devo and 'In The City' era Jam (they effortlessly modernise this sound though and weren't even born when these albums came out). 4 listens today so far and it's only 4pm.Stylus said it so much better:

This band is so exciting it’s almost unbearable. They wanna change things, and they do it not by writing clever things then standing back to admire them, but pushing forward, forever forward, relentlessly trying to work out what they’re going to do next. Stick with them, because they’re brilliant, and they’re only going to get better.

I've just had confirmation from the nice folk at Warp that the tower block image on the front page of the Maximo Park (geordie art rockers) website is indeed Hornbeam and Redwood Towers in Leytonstone. I lived in Hornbean Tower for five years from 1986 to 1991. They couldn't confirm when the picture was taken so for arguments sake let's assume that it's from 1988 and that I'm peering down from my 12th floor kitchen window. They blew them up in 2002 to make way for more sympathetic housing (we get our crack dead cheap round that way now).

Stuff

Puffs with plaques. Well done Alan Hollinghurst (I hope there's more mucky bits in the new one than there were in the last two). I hope this is not the wedding Darren and I are attending this Saturday. 24 Hour Party People was a great film and the chap who made it has just had his new one passed by the BBFC without any cuts. Apparently the sex scenes are boring (though real) and the movie is only 69 minutes long (boom boom!). The fucking is interspersed with live performances from Primal Scream, Franz Ferdinand and The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club hence the title. Spellcnut faves Woody Allen and Mike Leigh have new movies at London Film Festival this month AND Woody is playing Hammersmith Apollo with his jazz band during the festival so I guess the grumpy fucka may be attending his own movie opening (for a change). I shall not be attending either of these movies as they sold out three days before they went on sale (the LFF is the most elite and restrictive public film festival in the world and you can quote me on that).

Look at the great vinyl we bought in Stockholms only junk shop.

Greetings from Arlanda airport, Stockholm. Waiting for the flight home after a great weekend with the Swedes. My dogs are barking but they're happy (shoulda worn trainers and not hard, leather soled brogues). We've walked across the islands and explored the city through a refreshing weekend-long drizzle. We got pissed with the young folks on Friday night and watched The Go! Team rock Stockholm. We slept in 5 star luxury on the waterfront and stole chocolates from the cleaners trolley. We exposed ourselves to modern art and biting Baltic winds and then warmed up in plush art-deco department stores with ten quid coffees. We saw local boys By Heart on Saturday, liked what we saw and bought the album. It's a beautiful city and the train to the airport is yellow.
We spent a fortune but feel all the richer for the experience.

Nothing has happened to me all week. Except getting wet every day riding to work. I found this website which cheered me up as I sat evaporating at my desk (and no, I was not searching for those products). I'm off to Stockholm tomorrow with Darren for a long weekend and an even longer smorgasbord. We will see The Go! Team on Friday night at a little club called Debaser (how apt, so us). I have the new Nancy Sinatra album to listen to during the flight and also the Kasabian and The Music albums in case of flight delays. Splashed out on 'superseats' for Rambert at Sadlers Wells next month (it's becoming a tradition at Spellcnut towers to start the yule season with an evening of culture and the programme includes a piece by Michael Clarke so we had to see that). It's nearly home time now and after four hours of sunshine it's just started raining again. Sods law, I get me helmet out and the bloody heavens open.

I hope Edwards new best friend isn't going to be a bad influence on him.

The Go! Team at The Spitz last Thursday were mighty grand. They were bumped up to headliners at the last minute which musta pissed The Blue States off a bit. The BS were good and I still love that track they do that was used in all the football programmes during the European Championships this summer (Trainer Shuffle?). Roll on Stockholm.

Alton Towers on Friday was mighty grand too. It was a nice sunny autumn day and the park was thankfully free from school children. I had a gnawing feeling all day that I was being followed and then, sure enough, I spotted her peeping out from under a waterproof poncho not ten yards behind me. I stroked her hair and let her ride on the spinning tea-cups with me then sent her on her way with a photo of me puking up behind the petting zoo. The new roller coaster this year is Spinball Whizzer and it’s a beauty. Darren and I couldn’t stay off it. It’s a smooth and fast ride and, as the cars spin depending on the weight of the riders, no two rides are the same. We loved it and predict that other parks will acquire their own versions soon. Nemesis was out of action but Oblivion and Air are still great fun. The new Haunted House has gone all ‘28 Days Later’ which means you get to shoot zombies with laser guns while you ride round the castle. A belly full of steak pie had dulled my senses so my score wasn’t as impressive as Darrens. Top day out.

Saturday night at Duckie for Martins Birthday. It’s always a pleasure to be entertained by the best DJ’s in the UK - The Readers Wifes. The performance this week was LaQuisha Jonz and she was fantastic. My jaw ached from laughing. Salt beef bagels on the way home and in bed for 4am.

We watched two movies on Sunday. The Lawless Heart was very good. It’s one of those clever scripts where the same scenes are shot several times, each one from a different characters viewpoint. The story is about how the death of a gay man in a very small town has affected his friends and family. I loved the marvelous Essex scenery. It’s a cliché but it was funny and sad and ultimately heartwarming. Wonderland is a movie about John Holmes (work safe) descent into a grim life of murder and hard drugs. Comparisons with Boogie Nights are inevitable but Wonderland just didn’t measure up. It was gritty and blood soaked and believable but lost points cos they didn’t show us his cock (NOT work safe).

Don't. Look. Down.



Off to Alton Towers tomorrow. If anyone is reading this and thinking of keeping their kids off school to take them to this park, then think again. I shall be wearing my truant officers uniform and I won't hesitate to impose on-the-spot fines (between £10 and £100 depending on how attractive the Dad's are). Be warned. If there are any other faux-posh folk going from London, we shall be taking high tea in Cafe Nero at about 3pm.

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Search for 'chav' on the argos website. £999.99! You can buy a council house in Blackpool for that!

Homo-erotic football headline of the day.

We watched Poor Cow on DVD tonight. Carol White was brilliant as the promiscuous optimist Joy. She was also in other ground-breaking 60's films like Cathy Come Home and Up The Junction and it was funny to discover (she so impressed me that I went straight to google after the film finished) that she started out in the movies as one of the schoolgirls in the marvelous St Trinians films.

We got our dog at Battersea dogs home. I wonder if he would have been part of Red's gang if we hadn't brought him home to live with us?

Almost enough to make a grim Tuesday afternoon at work bearable. How some folk find London Calling:

how many paracetamols overdose can kill you
igor rentboy
bendy bus nightmare
party monster talking rat scene
morten harket gay
morrissey wearing a flat cap

Remember boys, it's not a beauty contest.
(from the always brilliant WoW Report)

Join Me!
The Go! Team are playing The Spitz near Spitalfields this Thursday evening (7th Oct). I'm going and you should too. Give the Spitz a call and reserve a ticket. You'll thank me.

We thought it was Parker Posey but it wasn’t. It was some interloper called Elizabeth Banks. She out Parkered our Miss Posey in Sea Biscuit; the smile, the walk, the hair, all copied from the indie goddess. Bloomin’ cheek. Good movie though (I nearly had to reach for the tissues several times). Nice to see two-times Pulitzer Prize winner David McCullough doing some moonlighting in Hollywood as a narrator. A good moral story about second chances, loving the loser in you and being kind to animals.
*strokes Edward kindly then traps spider from bathroom in jam-jar and kindly releases it into garden*

I woke up on saturday morning with a need for speed. I failed to recruit any mates to spend the day with me flying through the treetops on rollercoasters so I went on my own. Thorpe Park was beautiful (I'm ashamed to say I've never been before) with excellent themeing and marvelous gardens. Their two big coasters, Colossus and Nemesis Inferno, are stunners and just as good as anything in the USA (UK rollercoaster fans constantly compare our rides with the Americans and it's good to know that we can build and design just as well as them these days). The only good thing about being a johnny-no-mates at a theme park is the 'single rider' policy. Lone riders can walk straight to the front of the queue and take the first available seats. This worked out brilliantly yesterday and I was able to have three repeat rides in the front row on Nemesis Inferno. I was very impressed with the themeing at the park (an aspect we don't excel at in this country), the grounds and gardens were spotless and the inclusion of a Cafe Nero was a masterstroke obviously aimed at us gayers and the non-chav visitor. I had a delicious mozzarella and pesto lunch sitting outdoors in the sun watching Nemesis hurtle overhead. Very civilised.

We watched a couple of DVD's on Saturday night. Elephant was great. It's based on the Columbine school shootings and focuses on the hours just before 'the event'. Spooky and beautiful and a calm masterpiece. Taking Lives was a bit of a predictable thriller but still enjoyable. Or am I just easily pleased?

I saw The Go! Team last night. Wow! Not since Bow Wow Wow have two drummers looked and sounded so great. AND they’re girls (I don’t mean that girls aren’t good at drumming, I merely meant that they look so much better behind a drumkit than fellas) AND one of them is oriental! Soooo cool. Singer Ninja clambers onstage after 3 instrumentals and makes everyone smile from ear to ear. Her shouty rapping suits the rhythmic pounding (no slow songs in this set) and she’s the perfect compliment to the three skinny white boys thrashing their guitars behind her. The Musical Bear says it so much better than me…

...The Go! Team have managed to tap into the intoxicating, unselfconscious glee you most likely lost when you turned from a wide-eyed child into a surly teenager. It’s loud, colourful, funny, beautiful and will make your life infinitely better. It’s hard to say if this will penetrate the dismissive ears of the modern listener long enough to be anything other than an underground concern, but wherever this is playing there will be someone with a stupid grin on their face.

The northern soul tape playing before the band took the stage had most folk shuffling about (as much as you can shuffle in the tiny Barfly, especially when it seems there's 300 bodies squeezed into a space built for 100). The Rakes and Whitey were on too but they never managed to top the exuberance and joy that The Go! Team had sprayed out over us.