Monday, February 28

Apart from Napoleon Dynamite, the other classy movies we saw while on holiday were:
My Summer Of Love - ace
Hide And Seek - dreary and un-scary
The Aviator - very good (but Dicaprio still looks like a 14 year old boy to me)
Vera Drake - Imelda was robbed last night
Sideways - mildly amusing in an Oddbins kind of way
Meet The Fockers - so good I almost forgot we went to see it

Other great stuff we watched was the 'gay wedding' episode of The Simpsons, the back-slapping Grammy show on TV with Franz Ferdinand, infomercials (I want a Magic Bullet!), Fox News (hilariously bad) and TV ads at breakfast time for 'erectile dysfunction' pills. We made it home just before the Oscars but we did get to walk up the pavement and steps (where the red carpet would be a week later) and into the Kodak Theatre. Joan Rivers was already there and she adored my M&S corduroy pants and K-Mart button down collar shirt.

Sunday, February 27


We saw Napolean Dynamite on holiday and it made me laugh like a drain. I thought it was brilliant. I like your sleeves, they're big. Idiot.

Which Napolean Dynamite character are you?

Saturday, February 26

Just got back. Rain, art, posh food, theme parks, expectorant, movies, shows, vegas baby, swimming, orange county, millionaires, envy, mudslides, air-time, malls, showgirls, ice cream and pretzels, ice cold coffees, ghostrider, oc boys, walking, laurel canyon, golf-ball-hail, hollywood hookers, beach pizza, td cd's while crossing the mojave and more, so much more but must sleep now.

Thursday, February 10

Thank you for all your kind e-mails regarding yesterdays apparently suicidal post. I know life can be good too (and, believe me, mine is great most of the time) but what I was getting at yesterday was the knack that life has of creeping up behind you and kicking you up the arse when you least expect it (and how I have conditioned myself to expect crap to happen so that it's not such a shock when it does). It obviously wasn't a very articulate post.

Anyway, my handsome husband is whisking me off to California and Nevada in two days time to ride big-ass-huge-fuck-off rollercoasters and eat 3/4 pound hamburgers. So, life is ok for the time being.

Wednesday, February 9

I just tumble through life putting up with everything in a sort of mild mannered reluctance. When did I realise that life is shit? And when did I begin to succumb to being grateful for being here? I know I’m lazy and I know that just accepting the crap thrown at me is pathetic but ‘so what’ has been my mantra for 25 years now. Now, don’t get me wrong, I adore the moaners and complainers and fighters of injustice. I’m one of the few homo’s who think Peter Tatchell is a saint and I get moist eyes when wrongly convicted baby killers are acquitted and I march in demonstrations in spirit rather than in person. But when did I realise that life is basically shit? Why did I stop bothering?

Could it have been when my mate John was pulled from his scooter and beaten to death by bikers for just riding a beautiful piece of classic Italian engineering?
Could it have been when my favourite gran died from lung cancer never having smoked a ciggie in her life?
Or was it when the miners strike started and there was an immoral atmosphere of festivity among the strikers because there was money in the strike fund to pay everyone for 3 months?
Or was it when she won 18 months later?
Could it have been the weakness of hero’s (Kurt’s death and that awful Velvet Underground reunion tour).
What about being dumped after 10 years of devotion?
Or circling Miami in a 747 for two hours burning off fuel because the wheels were fucked and we might explode upon landing?
How about a horse riding accident that nearly killed me and did kill the horse?
I’m bored now.

Anyway, like the t-shirt says, shit happens and we all deal with it (or don’t) in different ways. My way is best for me.

By the way, in case you’re wondering about the catalyst for this post, nothing shit has happened today.

Tuesday, February 8

I came across this site. It's funny but also really sad. Now there is somewhere to anonymously unload those dark secrets that you can't bear to tell anyone. Please scroll down and read them. I feel better now because the stuff I might want to write is a mere bone in the closet compared to some folks skeletons.

Monday, February 7

Sunday was nice. Drove out to the BW country estate for luncheon. Lovely healthy fare (apart from the chemically loaded cakes which made me hyperactive "ignore me it's just the 'E' talking"). Back in time for the Everton match and a hot bath then an evening of roller coaster construction.

There's a yellow burning ball in the skies over Londoon today. Dunno what it can be but it's nice. Edward barked at and chased a jogger in the park this morning so I scolded him quite harshly and now I feel really bad so I'm chomping at the bit to go home and see if he is still sulking.
We will be here this time next Monday and this time Darren *will* go on this.

Finally bought the Soulwax album 'Any Minute Now'. God knows why I haven't owned it before now. Fricken excellent.

Saturday, February 5

Crap sleep last night due to indigestion and roaring 3am thirst. We had a lovely evening before bed though. Watched telly and new Nic Cage movie 'National Treasure' (fluff but still fun). Ate a very large pizza and drank too much tinto de verano ('summer wine' - an Andalucian specialty). Considered throwing up at 3am (it's called 'de-cluttering' these days) but couldn't be bothered. Only porridge and bananas for me today.

Following on from BW's post yesterday about how do you know when you're getting old, well, I've turned into my Mum as I've started sorting and packing stuff for a holiday which is still a week away. When my parents go on holiday my Mum gets the huge suitcase out a few weeks before they go and it sits on their bedroom floor being slowly filled with freshly ironed clothes and other junk (like that heating element thing for making "a decent cup of tea").
At this rate I'll be re-icing shop bought cakes and trying to pass them off as 'home baked' before the end of the year.

Thursday, February 3

Thursday 1pm. Very tired. Bed last night after 1am due to trauma of physics while creating roller coasters. Slept fitfully and dreamt of negative g-force stresses. Breakfast - porridge (now with added bran). Cups of tea - 3. Lunch - prawn curry. Cigarettes - none so far. Afternoon treat - tinned pears with yoghurt. Need sleep. Tonight's plan - hot bath with bubbles and bed at 10. Plans for tonight doomed to failure because of roller coaster construction addiction - 1.

Tuesday, February 1

Guiltypleasureslatelyhavebeenthenewgirlsaloudalbum
andtwentysomethingbyjamiecullembecausehehassuchacreamyvoice
andbookingeltonjohnticketsforhisredpianoshowinlasvegas
anddiscoveringinterpolareplayinginLAwhenwearethere.