Monday, October 22

Someone had the bad manners to crash their car and die on the M6 today closing it in BOTH directions for over 6 hours. Can anyone explain to me why the emergency services cannot just shovel the wreckage onto the hard shoulder once the bodies have been removed and let the hundreds of thousands of sane and safe drivers get on their way? I know, I know, investigations, insurance, blah blah blah. I was having a perfectly lovely drive along the A69 through a still green Northumberland with Edward snoozing beside me when the M6 situation was flagged up by the traffic wench on Radio 2 (their description of her, not mine) and so with only 2 miles to go before the M6 junction I swerved off the road (in a safe manner of course) and dithered along miniature country roads looking for a parallel route along the motorway. I didn't have to look too far as I soon caught up with every other driver heading South who'd had the same idea as me. We all meandered along waving at village idiots gawping at the everlasting car-conga until the traffic wench announced the M6 was now open and we all sped off across the farmers fields in a wacky races attempt to get to the motorway first. I won.
*wipes scarecrow off windshield*

Wetheral Viaduct
(the only good thing about the detour was seeing this up close)

Sunday, October 21

Saturday, October 20

Look at this. It's crazy! A pedal powered rollercoaster in Japan. Brilliantly scary.

Friday, October 19

Gimmelittlebassseemewinedowmawaist.
Nopopnostyle.
Inmekhakisuitanting.
Right that's the tiling oot the way. But before we get down to the finale photo's look what I spotted on the way home today - this fun filled night out is next Friday at a church hall on the outskirts of Preston:

I won a mixed grill once at the Sea Cadets Christmas Tombola. Snorkers, chops and a tough steak which we used to fix a hole in the shed roof. So, the last week has been a whirlwind of tiling in which we practiced over 20 specialist styles and then promptly forgot the skills used in each one. I like this picture for its perspective of the training centre in which you can see thru the various 'bathrooms':


Notice those 45 degree mitres on the ceramic border into the window reveal? Fucking nightmare!
Box sections are a bugger to tile too as they are built to house waste pipes in bathrooms by builders who don't know how to use a spirit level:





Porcelain tiles on a bathroom floor with a 'mat' diagonal design. I never got round to grouting this beauty:




Sorry if all the tiling pictures have been a bit boring but that's my life at the moment (and I'm not complaining). Did I mention that there were at least three potential Triga (ooh look! October is council scum month!) models on my course? Well there were. Two were ex-forces and during a coffee break I heard one of them telling someone that over the last ten years he must have drunk gallons of spunk. Naturally my ears pricked up at this statement. Turns out that those wacky army boys think nothing of jerking off into their comrades drinks. He finished by saying that "I never let anyone make me a drink nowadays". Gallons was obviously an over-exageration.

Wednesday, October 10



Day 3 of the final two weeks of my doctorate in tiling. The pic above is an exercise in 10mm grout line tiling using no measuring devices (helps train the 'tilers eye' apparently). You have no idea of the nightmare that is 'nibbling' a tile around the curvy top of a fussy sink or toilet.

On the way home from Manchester to Lytham tonight from 'college' my mp3 player in my van was attempting to tune into my mood. Knife Cuts Water by A Certain Ratio got my feet tapping and then something big n bouncy from the Timbaland album had me winding the window down and tapping my arm on the van roof (van drivers eh) but then Horsin' Around by Prefab Sprout started and before I knew it I was engrossed. I know the song like the back of my hand but I've never placed its lyrics into a personal situation but this time the autumn sunlight and the lack of traffic on the M6 had me projecting the guilty story onto someone I treated very poorly before I met Darren. I thought I was falling in love with him and I hoped I was because I wanted to match the enormous feelings he had professed for me. But I wasn't and I tried and tried to make it happen but it wouldn't. But I was a shit and told him 'it' had happened and for 6 months he was happy but I felt like a fraud. When I bit the bullet and broke the news to him that no matter how hard I tried I didn't have any deep feelings for him he was devastated. I was relieved that I'd told him but he was distraught and the sad feelings I should have been having were replaced by my selfish relief that the whole episode was over. He won't be reading this but in the one-in-a-million chance that he is I'd just like to dedicate Horsin' Around to Dr Bob and tell him I'm Sorry and I hope that these days he's as happy as I am.

Horsin` Around
It's me again your worthless friend or foe
I somehow let that lovely creature down
Horsin' around, horsin' around
Some things we check and double check and lose
I guess I let that little vow get lost
Forgettin' the cost, forgettin' the cost

Quick to forgive and so slow to blame, the very thought fills me with shame
But that didn't stop it happening

The thrill of it - can I call it that ? - was cheap
And feeling cheap's the only thing you keep
It's so unsightly to walk from her arms so lightly
Selling it all up the swanee

Horsin' around's a serious business, last thing you'd want somebody to witness
I was the fool who always presumed that I'd wear the shoes and you'd be the
doormat
You wonder why my hands are still shaking : In need of a cry the shoulders
are taken...

I deserve to be kicked so badly
You deserve more than I sold you for
Horsin' around, horsin' around

The moral is whatever else you learn
You shouldn't let that lovely creature down
Lord just blind me, don't let her innocent eyes remind me
Selling it all up the swanee
Horsin' around, horsin' around

Tuesday, October 2

It's supposed to be autumn now but yesterday on the beach was just magical. No coat needed and look at that blue sea. I sat on the sharp grasses with my library book for over an hour while edward chased late summmer bees and ran up and down the steep dunes.


My 18 month contract with Vodafone will be ending next month so they'll offer me a new phone to stay with them. I must make sure I get one with at least a 2 megapixel camera built in because capturing pics like the ones above and below has only been possible as I always have my phone with me.