Sunday, May 31

Eeeeeeeee it's bloody hot innit! We're not used to the heat up here but we're not complaining. Yesterday Rachael and Pete and baby Tilly popped over to have lunch, watch the FA Cup (Everton lost, Darren sulked), lie around in the garden, eat cheesecake and gossip. After they left we went to the Grand Theatre in Blackpool to see Victoria Woods 'Dinner Ladies'. Was ok but a bit like a half hour TV episode stretched to two hours (in a very hot theatre). A couple of the original TV actors were in it, her and him:

and the other actors all had the mannerisms and speech of the TV characters off to a tee. The middle aged and gentle audience loved it and clapped for ages at the end. Which is the whole point I suppose, they went to the theatre for a laugh and to be entertained and thats what they got.
I was very annoyed when Susan Boyle didn't win 'Britain's Got talent' last night. First Everton, then Susan Boyle, what a downer.
We're off to Grange Over Sands today as the weather is still lovey and Edwardian seaside resorts are a weakness of mine (it's the home of Cumberland sausage you know so let's hope they do a vegetarian version).

Tuesday, May 26

And then I finished 'Dancer From The Dance' and I was distraught that it was finished and that those men were doomed from the start of the first beat of make me believe in you. Ultimately I'm happy that I was never one of the beautiful people and that I didn't live in NYC in 1971 because I would have fallen in LOVE ten times every day and twenty times every night. Much better to read all about it thirty years later from the comfort and safety of ugly, old, recession-hit, provincial blighty.



We went to Southport for the day yesterday and got caught up in the Protestant marching band parade. Drums and fifes and teenagers dressed as King Billy marched through the gardens, past the lake, along the pier and then into the pubs, where they stayed until they were sick on the pavement outside and then fought among themselves (we were long gone before then). Excellent lunch in the Westminster Tea Rooms, a restaurant which faithfully recreates the attitude and ambience of the 1930's (but not, unfortunately, the prices). Shopped in the last department store in town, Broadbent and Boothroyds, and then took a stroll along the newly refurbished pier where we hung over the railings watching the skateboarders and bmx'ers doing their stuff on the ramps and half-pipes below. Southport is nice, but not as nice as it used to be. The closing of the amusement park 2 years ago with its four classic rollercoasters has had an impact on the town which I don't think the council expected. On the site of the old amusement park is now a collection of funfair rides from a travelling fair which just makes the place look tacky to me. The gardens and the ornamental lakes and putting greens just don't seem to be as manicured as they once were when the town was proud of its attractions. Southport was once seen as 'upmarket' compared to Blackpool but that reputation has now been laid to rest and this makes me sad.

Thursday, May 21

There's a great line in a song on the new Jarvis Cocker album:

Life is like a carrier bag, put too much in it and the handles will snap

Isn't that great? He's still got it. After one month and multiple full play-throughs I can now confirm that the new Depeche Mode album is a work of sublime beauty without a duff track on it. It's early days yet but I have a good feeling the new Manic Street Preachers album will become one of their best (though I do think the Holy Bible comparisons are a bit off the mark). It's been raining every day here for weeks now and I'm becoming a bit ticked off about it. Usually the sky darkens about an hour before I go to work at about 3 or 4pm and then the rain starts as I'm getting my motorbike out. Still, that's what you get when you move to the seaside. A doctor with a house on the seafront in St Anne's has bulldozed the sand dunes in front of his house to get a view of the beach and the sea. The conservationists are furious but apparently the houses on the front actually own the dunes in front of the properties so he's not done anything wrong (ancient bylaws are great aren't they). Look, it was even on the news! We're of to Majorca next month and I can't wait. Darren is a Balearic virgin but I've been to 'the big island' several times and I can't wait to show him round. We're staying inland at the new Hilton Spa and we've hired a car so we can swim in little coves and visit deserted beaches and then have dinner in mountain top villages.
Right, there's the rain hitting the window which means it's time to prepare my sandwiches, get my uniform on and go to work.

Thursday, May 14

Get your hankies out for this one. Just lovely!

Saturday, May 9

You don't get to see his cock but you see his arse.

Nasty, windy, chilly Fylde weather yesterday so, inbetween downpours of squally rain, I walked Edward to the local Blockbuster and rented some DVD's. We got back home at 1pm and I swiftly cooked up some lunch (2 nut cutlets with potato and spinach mash) and took it into the TV room where we both remained (with the fire on) until nearly midnight (though, to be fair, Edward did make the odd trip into the garden via his kitchen door dog-flap). Here's a list of the stuff we watched:
- 2 episodes of The Caravan Show on the Discovery Channel (I'm conducting a long term research project)
- the last episode of The Inbetweeners (smartest comedy of the year with best use of swearing)
- the latest episode of Brothers & Sisters (still engaging, twee and feelgood)
- Flashbacks Of A Fool on DVD (Daniel Craig naked, Baillie Walsh directing, whats not to love)
- The Mist on DVD (clever adaption of Stehen King novella with a brilliant ending)
- The Brave One (shades of Taxi Driver in this snappy revenge thriller and Jodi Foster starred in both).
I was in bed at midnight reading my new book (Bilal's Bread by Sulaymen X).

UPDATE:
It has just hit me that the above post is in the style of those classic blog posts from the 'golden' era (2002-2005) where those of us with little imagination (and poorly developed opinions) just listed the stuff we bought, watched, and ate because those were the type of posts we enjoyed reading in other blogs. Yay! It's a revival!

Friday, May 8


I had the urge to wallpaper yesterday. It was my day off and Darren is travelling with work for a few days so I thought what the hell. I trundled off to the local diy superstore on my motorbike and spent a very pleasant hour or two debating (in my head, I was alone) the merits of various designs. I eventually settled on a black and silver paper by Barbara Hulanicki of Biba fame. I finished pasting it up at midnight and then slept under the trees.